Nuptial Nerves Staying Sane While Planning Your Wedding


I’m staring at my calendar. Even though excitement rushes over me when I think about my wedding, I still feel anxious as I mentally note all the tasks that have to be completed this month. When it’s something this special, all of the little details suddenly become important.

“How will all of this get done?” I ask myself. Most importantly, “how do I keep my cool throughout the process?”

Wedding planning is certainly fun and exciting, but most couples would say it is also daunting and stressful.

“Weddings can be stressful and bring out the worst in people, even ourselves,” says Alyssa Murphy, a wedding planner who runs her own Baltimore-based business, Murphy’s Timeless.

To enjoy the process, surround yourself with loving friends, family and vendors who will “support and encourage you during this exciting and emotional time,” Murphy says.

Bride-to-be Kristen Deardorff agrees. “When people offer their help, don’t hesitate to take it.” Deardorff is getting married in Orrtanna, Pennsylvania later this year at the church she attended as a child. She has relied on help from her grandmother and stepmother.

Lauren Corrigan, a wedding planner with LC Events in Baltimore, agrees that it’s important to ask for help. “It is OK to admit that you can’t do it all solo,” Corrigan says. “ Chances are, those close to you are craving to be in on some of the action anyway.”

Another important tip: Know what to do and when. No matter how long your engagement is, planning ahead will keep everyone organized and prepared. Big tasks like finding vendors, sending save-the-dates and ordering flowers cannot be completed three months before the wedding. So it’s important to not let tasks stack up last minute. (Check out our calendar in this issue.)

“Plan, plan, plan ahead, so you don’t have to rush,” Deardorff says.

At the same time, it’s important for a couple not to let planning consume them. Corrigan suggests picking certain days to discuss wedding planning.

“For example, agree that you are only going to work on wedding-planning tasks on Wednesdays,” Corrigan says. “That way, the stress does not linger with you daily.”

When planning, remember you and your fiancé are on a unique journey together, others agree. While Pinterest can be helpful as a visual aid, “try not to compare yourself and your wedding- planning process with other people’s processes,” says bride-to-be Kate Decker. “Focus on expressing and honoring your relationship instead of trying to make it look like something you saw on Pinterest.”

Decker is getting married later this year at a beautiful park in Columbus, Ohio.

The final tip:

“Take care of yourself, and don’t give up the little things that make you happy to plan this wedding,” Corrigan says.  “Stay connected with your fiancé. Be sure to separate any anxiety you’re feeling about the wedding by continuing to go on date nights with a rule that there will be no wedding talk.”

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