A DRUNKEN MONKEY BITTEN BY A SCORPION. That’s how the ancient Buddhists described a restless mind. And that was long before email, traffic jams and FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) syndrome. These days, everybody’s stressed. Hyper-stressed. Too damn stressed. And, we hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s probably killing you. Study after study shows that stress increases your risk of everything from heart attack and stroke to obesity and infertility. (Sorry, are we stressing you out right now?) So what’s an overworked, under appreciated, drunken monkey supposed to do? Revoke your membership in the Fight or Flight Club—and start meditating, pronto. (We even teach you how, page 47!) Plus, try one of the funky, new relaxation treatments we tested out around town. Upgrade: the hangover feels a lot like Enlightenment.