In one of those wonderful moments of serendipity, Glamour Girl received today a familiar, welcome newsletter in her inbox and read a familiar, welcome story in the New York Times.  Both have to do with one of her guilty pleasures—the art of the pin-up.  As in pin-up girl, pin-up poster, pin-up clothing, pin-up sex appeal.

As I wrote a few months ago in a post on Dita Von Teese, and in a 2007 article on Baltimore’s own Trixie Little, neo-burlesque is all the rage.  And for good reason.  The grotesquely proportioned, hyper-sexualized beauty icons of today can’t hold a candle to the coy, voluptuous, yet realistic-looking pin-up girls of yesteryear.

There’s a sweetness, an innocence about the earlier babes that comes through their undeniable sexiness.  It’s that innocence that’s missing from today’s in-your-face ads and photographs.

Take Bettie Page, for instance, the ‘50s pin-up girl par excellence. She’s robustly sexy (too robust by today’s standards—some idiot would tell her to lose 20 pounds), yet simultaneously cheeky, inviting, and showing a sense of humor.  She was approachable.  And heaven knows lots of men wanted to approach her.

She also had a girl-next-door quality (though she was quoted as saying, “I was never the girl next door”).

There are so many web sites devoted to her I won’t even bother to direct you to any.  Just plug her name into Google and have a field day.

Compare Bettie Page’s come-hither look with that of today’s extremes—either the balloon-breasted, liposuctioned “real wives” of God-knows-where or the anorexic supermodels of high fashion.  BP has a smile on her face; the others a sneer.  They look like they would bite your head off if you gave them half a chance.  Apparently this look is supposed to convey sophistication.  Or something.

I’m sorry, but this isn’t sexy in my book—it’s just creepy:

Anyway, if you, too, prefer the glamour of days gone by, there are many ways to reproduce that look.  Vintage shops, brick-and-mortar and on-line, abound.  But there are also many vintage reproduction vendors who are creating affordable clothing, either custom-made to your measurements or off the rack.

Going back to that newsletter that appeared in my email, it was from one such vintage-repro place—Pin Up Girl Clothing.  It carries lots of brands, not only its own but also Dixiefried Clothing, Deadly Dames, Laura Byrnes Black Label, and Eldorado Club.

For instance, if you have a penchant for leopard, you’ll go dizzy with all the choices—dresses, skirts, tops, accessories.  Here’s the Simona Pump.  I think I might die if I don’t get them:

If your tastes run more to classic prints, you can try the Dixiefried Cherry Print Dress:

Or this charming summer frock:

Or how about this Vivien of Holloway pink sarong:

Speaking of sarongs, I think they do wonderful things to a woman’s body, no matter the size.  Here’s one that’ll knock your socks off:

That’s another Dixiefried Clothing concoction, styled on the classic ‘40s and ‘50s Hawaiian sarongs made by Kamehameha and Alfred Shaheen and popularized in movies by the likes of Dorothy Lamour, Ava Gardner, and Rita Hayworth.  Originals can go for anywhere from 200 to 800 bucks depending on the size, whereas the Dixiefried repro sells for $130.

If you’re in a Mad Men frame of mind, take a look at this hot pink figure-hugging number, the Niagara:

Notice what they all have in common:  they’re sexy, yet somehow also demure.  They make a statement without showing a lot of skin.  That’s another difference from so many stripper-wanna-be fashions of today.  You can still look hot without your bosom heaving out of your top.

To wit:

And if you want to va-va-va-voom it up at the beach, they’ve got you covered there, too:

They’ve got lots of bathing suits in other colors, too, such as red and classic gold lamé:

Though I could do without the tattoos.  Speaking of which, sorry, but there’s a way to ruin a great dress.  The combination of prints is giving me vertigo:

These clothes look great on many body types, not just svelte or gym-toned.  Here’s a plus-size gal looking gorgeous:

A word about fabrics:  reproductions are often made with lycra, a fabric that obviously didn’t exist 60 and 70 years ago.  Lycra is great to give you some cling and spring, but it’s not “authentic.”  The cottons, bengalines, and silks of yesterday have often been replaced by polyester, which can be very versatile, so don’t write it off; but it doesn’t have the same weight and drape of those other fabrics.  In other words, if you want real vintage, you’ll have to go that route.  But if you want a decent approximation at an affordable price, in any size you choose, with easy returns, then vintage reproduction is a great alternative.

And if you’re looking for an even more in-depth vintage beauty experience, you might try your very own pin-up girl photo session.  Lots of photographers specialize in turning ordinary babes into knock-em-dead vamps, with make-up and props provided.  It can be great fun to do for yourself, with a bunch of girlfriends, or for the special man in your life.  In New York, there are hundreds of places to choose from.  In Baltimore, a popular one is Atomic Cheesecake Studios.

If you need some inspiration, just go to that NYT article—and be sure to click through the two slideshows—or peruse a site such as 21st Century Burlesque.  Or take a look at Bernie Dexter’s site—she’s another fab modern-day pin-up and models herself on Bettie Page.

Dress up, play, and leave your inhibitions behind!

Re-visoning Erté, made from silk scraps and aluminum cans:

Eco-Flamenco, made from cereal boxes, recycled paint, and parachute scraps:

The Paper Lace dress and hat are made from office recycling cans, but I love the shoe:

The Aluminum Drop Dress is ready to shimmy up a storm:

A used shower curtain never looked so good!

There are lots more creations on the Recycle Runway website, along with information about Nancy Judd’s latest, non-fashion installation in Santa Fe.  Everything is a feast for the eyes (and imagination).

First, Transcend: Annual Benefit Fashion Show, is on Friday, April 13th, at 9pm, and Saturday, April 14th, at 8pm.  The Friday night show is a preview for MICA people and media, Saturday night for the general public. Both shows take place at Brown Center: Falvey Hall, 1301 W. Mount Royal Avenue. Tickets at the MICA store on-line.

After the runway show, you’ll be able to mingle with the models and designers, plus see an exhibit of fashion-inspired photography, illustration, and fiber arts.

The Experimental Fashion Event, going by the unlikely title of Milquetoast, will be on Saturday, April 21st, at the 2640 Space—a.k.a. St. John’s Church, 2640 St. Paul Street, in Charles Village. This will be a multi-media extravaganza, incorporating not only clothing and design, but dance, music, and projected video. Be prepared to be part of the show!

Check the MICA site for the various ticket prices; if you don’t want to buy ahead of time, limited tix are available at the door.

These two events are just part of an entire month of fashion-related programming. Lectures, panel discussions, and a festival are all part of the mix.

Glamour Girl has always loved dresses.  Besides their undeniable femininity, they also have the virtue of simplicity.  I don’t mean aesthetic or sartorial simplicity, I mean easy to wear.  Pop it on and off you go.  You’re instantly put together.  No tucking-in of blouses, no wrangling of waistlines, no shifting or tugging or smoothing.

It’s not that I dislike separates.  It’s just that I find myself reaching for a dress more often than not, especially when I want my outfit to make a statement. 

Dresses have even inspired storytelling:  the most famous example is The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes.  Dresses help define and express character in the great novels of Edith Wharton.  And then there are Erin McKean’s wonderful collections of The Secret Lives of Dresses.

So here is a paean to The Dress, in all its many manifestations.

At the high end, unaffordable for most but still lovely to look at, is this luscious floral frock by Lela Rose:

Here’s how actress Olivia Munn looked in it recently:

It definitely has a vintage vibe, evocative of the full-skirted Christian Dior creations of the 1950s.

Several mainstream retailers have gotten in on the act and are offering lovely floral dresses for spring.  This is the Watercolor Rose dress from Talbots:

Actually, that reminds me of a gorgeous vintage dress I bought on eBay a few years ago, a silk sarong-style bombshell with a portrait neckline, and if I can dig up a picture of it I’ll post it.

Speaking of vintage, there are thousands of old beauties out there.  You could spend days combing through them on-line.  In my view, they’re peerless.  As lovely as that Talbots dress is, it’s nothing compared to the creations of the ‘50s.  And I’m talking dresses that were made for the middle-class, not designer duds.  Here’s a Suzy Perette, one of my favorite design houses, which I still love to wear:

And you can see my all-time favorite Suzy Perette in this Style photo from 2006.

Here’s a silk hourglass-shape cocktail party dress that recently sold on eBay for a steal.  Click the link to see all the detail:

J. Crew also has a few florals.  Here’s their Fresco Floral Dress:

Boston Proper has oodles of gorgeous dresses, especially the maxis, several of which I’ve availed myself.  I love maxis for the summer—they’re so breezy and elegant.  This Peacock Lattice Maxi Dress is a show-stopper.  I wear it so much, I neglect my other summer clothes:

You have to be careful with Boston Proper—there’s a lot of stuff there I would describe as stripper-chic.  But they offer lots of beautiful things that mere mortals can wear as well.  (Though they may make you feel like a goddess!)

Tell me about your favorite dresses in the comments.

The true star of the show was the Kodak Theatre, which looked every inch Old Hollywood. Done up in Deco splendor, the sets and lighting were a nod to the film that ended up winning Best Picture – The Artist.  (And yes, I will continue to call it the Kodak Theatre, I don’t care what the court says. The other name is too silly to utter.)

Now on to the gowns.

Everyone always looks for a theme, a predominant color or style. The one trend that was unmistakable was an echo of the Kodak’s itself – retro glamour, specifically Art Deco. There was also a lot of white and ivory, and many one-shoulder or off-the-shoulder gowns.

Rooney Mara looked decidedly un-Dragon-Tattooed in an ivory silk Givenchy with an almost gauzy effect at the bodice. Though she looked like she desperately needed a sandwich, and the back of the dress resembled bandages or a harness, the dress was, overall, lovely. She kept a touch of the vamp with black bangs and bright red lipstick:

Even more vampy was Rose Byrne, who was drop-dead gorgeous in a backless liquid black column of sequins by Vivienne Westwood. Her hairstyle was pure Louise Brooks, and she wore enormous Deco earrings by Chanel:

There was little black this year, with Angelina Jolie, Melanie Griffith, and Olivia Wilde also opting for it. And I’m sorry, I know it won’t be popular, but it has to be said: Jolie looked positively freakish.

Her spindly arms and legs, so scrawny I thought her bones might break if she sneezed, are adorned with those hideous tattoos that could just as well be bruises. She looked like a refugee from a prison camp. Okay, a glamorous refugee, as her face is still beautiful. (Though when you get that skinny, your head looks freakishly huge in comparison – not necessarily a pretty sight.) Honestly, she gave me the willies.

And she kept thrusting her leg out from a gown (Atelier Versace) that was slit from here to kingdom come, in a move so ridiculously in-your-face that it was later mocked on stage by Jim Rash, as he accepted an Oscar as one of the writers of The Descendants:

Hey, Angelina, we get it. You’re a babe. You’re hot. You’ve had however-many kids and gotten rid of all the baby fat (and then some). Your man is Brad Pitt. You’re THE power couple. Everyone knows who you are. Do you really have to try so hard??

There were many welcome respites from such displays, such as Penelope Ann Miller in a nude, cross-halter-top sequined gown by Badgley Mischka that she helped design. Her look was another homage to ‘30s glamour, from the dress to the hair to the pink diamond ring and earrings and classic Deco bracelet:

Missi Pyle wore the winning design from the Red Carpet Green Dress Competition – a minty-blue eco-friendly dress made with silk from cruelty-free silkworms (yes, really), recycled zippers, recycled polyester, designed by Venezuelan-born, Miami-based Valentina Delfino:

A subtle gown that didn’t get enough attention was the Elie Saab creation worn by Bérénice Bejo. The mint-colored beaded-mesh bodice and long sleeves gave an effect of vines with green leaves. Her red hair, done up in an elegant braided side with back bun, showed off not only her lovely face but huge emerald drop earrings:

The undisputed stunner of evening was wearing another Elie Saab—Milla Jovovich, in a jaw-dropping ivory beaded one-shoulder gown with a slight train. Dare it be said – the gown reminded Glamour Girl of her own ivory silk beaded gown by Stephen Yearick (red-carpet-worthy if I do say so myself). Her hair was simply and delicately styled, almost marceled. Again, 1930s high glamour. Absolutely radiant:

Speaking of radiant, Bingbing Li shimmered in an ivory (or was it white?) sequined column by Georges Chakra Couture, with stripes of sheer panels at the side and an almost-mermaid silhouette:

White did not work wonders for the young Shailene Woodley, who showed up in Valentino Couture vintage. Problem is it was late ‘60s-early ‘70s vintage, with a high neck, long sleeves, and a bodice that looked like a checkerboard. Hey, even Valentino couldn’t overcome the fashion uglies of that era:

Maria Menounos floated by in a breathtaking pale green, diaphanous-paneled creation by Maria Lucia Hohan that was pure Grecian goddess:

Stepping out of a different part of Greek mythology was Viola Davis in a brilliant green strapless gown by Vera Wang. It was a cleavage-baring extravaganza, with a clean straight skirt that gave way to tiny ruffles cascading into a pleated bottom. With huge teardrop earrings by Lorraine Schwartz, a single statement-making diamond bracelet, and gleaming skin, she was an Amazonian beauty:

Hometown girl Stacy Keibler was, of course, on the arm of George Clooney. And truth be told, she looked magnificent. Her gold-bronze satin one-shoulder gown by Marchesa, with a huge pleated rose at the hip, made her a statuette unto herself. There wasn’t an ounce of cheerleader/wrestler tackiness about her:

Judy Greer was a knock-out in a slinky Art Deco column of silver & black by Monique Lhuillier. She could give the Chrysler Building a run for its money:

Melissa Leo, in Reem Acra, seems to go for these short-sleeved dresses, as she did last year as well.  Short sleeves are odd on formal wear, too sporty, but she looks so much better with slightly darker hair instead of that washed-out faux blonde. And she’s clearly bitten the Botox bullet, which I imagine is near impossible to escape in Hollywood. Even Jane Lynch of Sue Sylvester fame (Glee) has recently succumbed to the wrinkle-erasing fix:

Primary colors were also bursting on the red carpet. Michelle Williams wore a coral-red strapless Louis Vuitton of tiered chiffon, with a dainty jeweled bow brooch at the waistline. This gown is beloved of stylistas this morning, but I don’t think it worked for her. It had a kind of frothy peplum over a straight ruffled column. I thought it was too frou-frou for her small frame. But it was evocative of the ‘50s, which is perhaps what she was going for, given that her nomination was for her portrayal of 1950s screen legend Marilyn Monroe:

Also overwhelming her figure, and also reminiscent of the ‘50s, was the red Christian Dior vintage (1954) gown worn by Natalie Portman. Yes, j’adore Dior, but this dress didn’t particularly stand out. Or perhaps it stood out too much on the tiny Natalie:

Janet McTeer also wore red – a jersey cross-bodice V-neck that hugged her voluptuous curves. I don’t know – maybe too much boobage? What do you think?

Octavia Spencer glowed in a beautiful nude-ivory silver sequined gown by Tadashi Shoji:

With Helen Mirren not in attendance, we need other women of a certain age to represent mature beauty, and Glenn Close fit the bill perfectly, in a fitted forest-green gown with a great swoopy train and an understated tuxedo jacket, all designed by Zac Posen:

The divine Meryl Streep, however, swung and missed with a glittering gold lamé gown. Yes, it was by the venerable house of Lanvin, but it looked kind of sloppy. Too blousy. But she’s so talented and beautiful she can do anything she damn well pleases. And her heartfelt acceptance speech outshone the dress:

Tina Fey: Okay, I know I’m supposed to love this simple, classic, structured Carolina Herrera, but I found the peplum too poufy and the whole thing just kind of blah. And her makeup was wan and washed out; she needed a pop of color. Her blue-stoned earrings were great, though:

Can someone explain to me why Jennifer Lopez always pulls her hair so tight off her face that it looks like it’s going to come out by the roots? Is this instead of Botox?  In addition to Botox?  So that it pulls her forehead skin so taut that even the hint of a wrinkle doesn’t have a chance?  It looks weird, it looks painful.  She wore another cleavage-baring, and shoulder-baring number, this time by Zuhair Murad. The stripey dress looked like it was ripped. It was sort of Star-Trekky, like Giuliania Rancic’s gown only with sleeves:

Cameron Diaz, Lopez’s presenter-in-arms (and asses – if you watched the show you know what I mean), was wearing the same ivory-nude color, and it was equally curve-hugging. But it was chic personified. Designed by Gucci, it was a simple strapless design that flowed into asymmetrical ruffled tiers leading to an almost fishtail bottom, with subtle panels of satin that glittered like ribbons of jewels when she moved. Her hair, however, was a mess. Ragged and unkempt:

Back to red, Emma Stone wore a red disaster by Giambattista Valli, with a huge bow at neck, reminding all of us of the Balenciaga Nicole Kidman wore a few years ago. Alas, it was no better in this iteration. Both looked like wrapped Christmas gifts:

Everyone’s talking about Ellie Kemper with her copper hair and copper starlight sequins strapless gown by Armani Privé. What can I say? She certainly looked coppery!

Gwyneth Paltrow – wow.  She wore a pure white one-shoulder gown with cape by Tom Ford. Simple, elegant, powerful. She needed to do something with her hair and makeup, though, as she was another of the wan brigade. The single massive diamond bracelet was a great touch, but she could’ve done with just a tiny bit of sparkle up top—why no earrings?

Sandra Bullock was in an unusual Marchesa—a white bodice with embroidered-jeweled-gold mid-section going into a black velvet bottom. It looked kind of loosey-goosey and unfitted from the front, but it was backless so it made a statement on the other end:

Penelope Cruz looked like Cinderella, in a Giorgio Armani Privé ball gown of smoky blue silk chiffon, off-the-shoulder. Another ‘50s look. As I’ve said before, this woman is simply incapable of looking bad:

Shaun Robinson was another little statuette, in a gold lamé Romona Keveza simple straight halter:

Leslie Mann said she could barely breathe, but surely it was worth it for this gorgeous navy blue Roberto Cavalli:

And Virginia Madsen continued the color trend in a purple satin one-shoulder semi-strapless gown. The color was lovely, but I thought the gown kind of smushed her figure:

There were plenty more gowns (and tuxes) on display – the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between. But I’ll leave you with the one Oscar image that had me salivating more than any other, courtesy of Wolfgang Puck:

Salmon and caviar.  Add some champagne . . .

. . . now that’s what makes a girl happy!

Can you tell what’s going on?  What could be the cause of this minute-by-minute countdown?

Silly darlings.  Why, it’s the time remaining until 9pm Eastern, when on the flickering screen will come the final episode of the best thing to hit Masterpiece Theater since Brideshead Revisited—Downton Abbey.

Glamour Girl is positively simmering with anticipation.  In fact, if hubby hears her going “T-minus . . .” one more time, he might just sabotage the TV.

(Not really.  He likes the series as much as I do.)

Will Matthew and Mary finally get together?  Will she throw off the odious what’s-his-name?  Carlisle, is it?  Of course Matthew is grown up enough and worldly enough not to give a hoot that she had that one-night stand with the handsome Turkish diplomat who then died in bed.  It’s post-WWI, for Pete’s sake!  The world is way beyond caring about such things as a woman’s “virtue,” or her “marriageability.”  Sybil’s going off to Ireland with a working-class chap.  Edith knows how to drive.  Mary is not going to stick around just to be an ornament on some rich guy’s arm, and Matthew’s not going to let her!

Be still, my beating heart.

When Matthew and Mary danced together in the foyer, and she said, “We were a show that flopped,” my heart wanted to break.  They simply must get together.

What does all this have to do with fashion?  Well, apparently I’m not the only one who’s smitten with Downton Abbey (it’s huge in Spain, too)—Ralph Lauren is also in on the act.

Mr. Lauren (né Ralph Lifshitz) is certainly not to the manor born, but like many of us, he still gets wrapped up in the whole English aristocracy thing.  And he knows a good business opportunity when he sees one.

That’s why he ended New York Fashion Week with a collection inspired by Downton Abbey, complete with the glorious theme music to the series by Scottish composer John Lunn.

Need a new gown for dinner?  What could be better than liquid gold lamé:

Or how about a riding habit?  (Oops, I think that’s more a walking habit):

Okay, enough.  I have to go get a cup of tea.  I don’t have any crumpets, but c’est la vie.  I’m too excited to eat anything anyway!

It’s called Von Follies.

Now wouldn’t that be fab for your Valentine?  Or just for your own enjoyment?

And no wardrobe would ever be complete without the timeless, ever-elegant, and ever-sexy animal print:

If you’d like to read up more on the lovely Dita, you can click the links above, and if you’d like to learn about the wonderful practice of neo-burlesque, check out Glamour Girl’s article for Style about Baltimore’s own Trixie Little back in 2007.

It will be held at BMW of Towson, 700 Kenilworth Drive.  (Glamour Girl admits that she knows nothing about cars—to her, they have four wheels and go—though she makes an exception for the Smart, which she drove in France 13 years ago and has been salivating about ever since—still, she’s not so clueless that she doesn’t know BMW is a symbol of luxury!)

Though she won’t be sashaying down the runway with the models, she will be introducing each fashionable lovely, and if her wit doesn’t fail her will add a bon mot or two in the bargain.

Call 410-628-0795 for tickets. 

And please come up and introduce yourself; GG does so love a kindred spirit!

She’s also in awe of people who can craft things with their hands.  It’s a talent that should be treasured, but that in our “knowledge economy” world often isn’t.  Give me a good carpenter over a good theoretician any day.

But I digress.

Ann Tyler is the designer and hands-on talent behind Millie Bags, a Baltimore-based handbag company. Millie Bags are made out of luscious fabrics, often with scintillating accents—crystal brooches, flippy fringe, delicate piping. The company is named after Ann’s mother, Millicent, an accomplished furniture upholsterer. Mother and daughter share an expertise in textiles, so don’t be surprised if you come upon an historic Fortuny fabric incorporated into one of her designs.

From her studio in Guilford, Ann sews these gorgeous bags and hosts lively soirées for customers.  And right now, she’s having a sale.

What’s your style? 

Are you perchance a Glama Gal?

A sleek Katrina?

A sophisticated Bijoux?

A Grace Kellyesque Muriel?

Or perhaps a colorful Trina?

There are many more styles available, and Ann can also custom-design a bag for you.  But the best news is that right now she’s having a Winter Sale:  30-50% off original prices.  Get ‘em while you can!

And then, an unspeakable horror.  Nay, several unspeakable horrors.  Half a dozen of them, truth be told.

For at the next table, amid the shrimp salad, wild greens, seared scallops, and holiday conviviality, the women (all of a certain age) were wearing some version of this:

All of them.

Now, before you accuse me of being a Scrooge, let me say that I love this time of year.  I love the music.  I love the smell of pine.  I love the wreaths, the wrapping paper, the ribbons.  I decorate to the hilt.  And I wish all and sundry a “Merry Christmas.”

But I shudder in horror at these appalling seasonal sweaters.  On a child, I get it.  But on a grown woman??

Wearing pumpkin-embroidered sweaters for Thanksgiving, heart-studded sweaters for Valentine’s Day, Caspar-the-Friendly-Ghost sweaters for Halloween (okay, I haven’t seen that one), or any of those seasonal bobbly earrings—I mean, what is the appeal?

And, spare me, even for men:

Just Google “Christmas sweater.”  Go on.  I dare you.  Up will come pages of them, thousands, millions, and one of the first hits will be an entire page from eBay where sellers have slugged their auctions as “Ugly Christmas Sweater.”  I kid you not.  This is their title, not mine.  Obviously, it draws customers, or they wouldn’t be using it.

Consider this another episode in the continuing series, *“Will Hideosities Never Cease?”  Alas, I fear we will have many contenders in the days to come.